Golf Rule Changes 2008 (only applies to Inland golf members)
Rule 1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The inland golfer should not be penalized for uncontrollable mechanical phenomena.
Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.b.3 (g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball. The missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging him or herself with a penalty
Rule 4.c.7 (h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the law of golf.
Rule 5.e.6. (g)
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
Rule 6.a.9 (k)
There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds." If penny-pinching golf club owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.g.15(z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float. That they do not is a technical problem that manufacturers have to correct. Inland Golfers should not be punished for manufacturer's shortcomings.
ONLY A TRUE GOLFER WILL UNDERSTAND THIS
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there..
The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.
It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt. For a 10.
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to pray a lot.
Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you need to buy fresh ones each week.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a buggy, drink beer and have a great banter with your mates if you are performing brain surgery.
